I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
