rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
