I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
