Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
