It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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