I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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