He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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