Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
