btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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