seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize