Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
