im about as happy as oj after his trial
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
