just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
