Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
