But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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