I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This is the high leading the old right now
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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