I swear she didn't look like that last week.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
