If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
