omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
