thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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