Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
