so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
