Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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