I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
