Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
