So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
