Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
