We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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