You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
