My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize