I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
