im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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