I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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