I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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