Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
