margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
