God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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