this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
