Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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