if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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