Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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