no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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