our cab driver is having phone sex.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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