Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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