I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
