I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
