You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
