so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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