.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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