how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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