Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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