So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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