You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
