No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
