i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
