Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
