lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
