if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he thought i was a dude.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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