This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
