My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
