It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
