remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
well you can't waste a boner
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
