I accidentally burped into my bong.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
