I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize