We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
