batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
