Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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