just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
