they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
