A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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