is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
