That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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