I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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