i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
